Exploring The Expieriments Oven
Last updated
Last updated
The past couple months have been a trying one for the Octopies of Pieland. All the Ovens turned off on March 22, 2022 and disrupted the Octopies’ lives. The nine Slices each sent a representative to form the Fellowship of the Octopies to reclaim their Ovens. After eight Oven inspections, it was time to visit the last one - the Expieriments Oven.
The Fellowship had a horrific experience with the Zompies Oven inspection and fled to the home of the Vampiers. The group had left without the Zompie delegate, but the Zompie followed them. The Fellowship was split on whether the Zompie could stay.
Members had witnessed Zompies eating dead Octopies. But the Zompie representative had also saved the lives of the Pieson and Pielander from a savage group of salivating Octopies at the Zompies Oven. This particular Zompie seemed more civil and refined and had been agreeable on their adventures so far. The Fellowship decided the Zompie was trustworthy enough to still be part of the group.
It was time to head to the last Oven. The Fellowship followed the Expieriments representative into a complex chamber through dozens of caves and grottos. It is almost impossible to explore the chasms of the Undercooked Lands without artificial lighting. Luckily, the pathways to the Expieriments Oven were well lit and maintained. Along the way the Expieriment pointed to a mammoth stalagmite over 50 meters tall called Two-Headed Beast, as halfway up it split into two directions. The pillar was the largest known stalagmite in the Undercooked caves, and stood near the entrance of the Expieriments home.
As the group scrambled up the limestone rocks to a massive chamber, they encountered a few dozen Expieriments staring intently at them. The cave entrance revealed the Expieriments Oven - a bizarre rust-colored kiln with a mutant beast with three horns sewn to one side. Mutant bass swam erratically in circles in a tank attached to the Oven.
An Expieriment named The Lord of Lightning stood protecting the entrance of the Oven. This infamous Octopie, with crystal blue eyes matching a lightning-infused hammer, made zapping sounds and stepped aside to allow the Fellowship to pass. The bewildered group stood frozen in place. Another very important Expieriment, dressed in a copper top hat and suit, approached the Fellowship.
“Welcome to our humble abode,” said The Gentleman Beast in a crisp, upper-class accent. The group was taken aback by this smartly-dressed Expieriment with proper posture and manners. They were used to the grunts and broken sentences spoken by the Expieriments delegate. “Don’t worry about our keeper, the Lord of Lightning. We added an extra security measure after our Oven went cold to ensure that only Octopies of… the right flavor are allowed to enter.” The Gentleman Beast looked directly at the Doughbot and the Piesces members upon saying this. Both members, feeling called out because of their different appearance, boldly stepped forward and offered to explore the Expieriments Oven.
“I heard about your grand adventures. They sound splendid. I see you even have a Zompie with you, fortunately that one seems to be one of the less…feral Zompies.” the Gentleman Beast said. “Now tell me, what have you learned from our allies, the Vampiers?”
The Piesces Octopie explained that the Vampiers revealed they had two flames, one for themselves and one for research purposes. The Fellowship speculated that the other flame was for the Zompies. The origins of the Expieriments Oven was a mystery. The Gentleman Beast laughed.
“Well, that’s certainly one way to tell the story. But the truth is the Vampiers did not know how to resurrect an Octopie and they never should have suggested to the Pieous that they could with enough ‘research’. The Vampiers took that second flame and split it between two Ovens - ours and the Zompies,” the Gentleman Beast explained.
The Doughbot and Piesces both stood slack-jawed, trying to wrap their pieheads around this revelation. “Come now, Doughbot, let’s keep moving and stay close. Your robotic parts are far too valuable here,” the Gentleman Beast said, admiring the rare Darksteel tentacles.
The Gentleman Beast dropped more truth bombs. “The Expieriments Oven was created with only half a flame. I believe that’s why we look so special. The other half went to the Zompies. Unfortunately, the Vampiers never told the Zompies because they did not want to start an uprising. The Vampiers didn’t tell us, either. It was the Pieous who came to us in secret. They knew the Vampiers created two extra Ovens deep in the subterranean caves of our underworld.”
The Pieous told us our Oven creation was illegal, and punishment was imminent. At the time, we were a young Slice. This news scared us and we begged the Pieous to let us be. They agreed, but there was a price to be paid. Every three moons, we had to send an Expieriment to them. The Pieous used these sacrificial Octopies for testing and examination. This was not an easy choice to make, but we did it for the greater good of our Slice.”
The Gentleman Beast paused and raised a robotic tentacle to wipe away a single tear. “We were sworn to secrecy. The chosen Expieriment was always escorted out of the Undercooked Lands without the Vampiers knowing. Ah, now that our Oven is cold, it doesn’t matter who knows. We assumed another Slice found out about this deal and ratted us out to the Pieous, and that they turned off our Oven in retaliation.”
After this, the group continued to look around in silence for some time. They saw the inner workings of the Oven, including the inner Pielot Light. One half was scorched and tarnished from a flame, confirming what they had been told. Once they had evidence to support this story, they headed to the exit to return to their group.
“Please, go forward and let your group know of this tale. I shall not join. I wish to spend time here alone. I have made some decisions I am not proud of. And I now fear it was all for nothing.” said the Gentleman Beast.
The two Octopies headed back to the Fellowship and shared the Expieriment leader’s story. The group, including the Vampier representative, were very alarmed to hear about the splitting of a flame from the Grandoven. But this also further added confusion about what was going on.
The Fellowship of the Octopies decided they needed to regroup, above ground, to collect all their knowledge and notes and figure out what was next. They had a lot to process and - Was it time to visit The Pieous? Or would they need to prepare more before such a daring adventure?
